and the True Meaning of Ampersands
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The Course Selection Algorithm

After collecting data on all data collected by every student to come through RPI since 1746, and using 16 industrial sized supercomputers, each with a petabyte of RAM, we were able, by S&W’s very own patented O(nn!) brute force approach, to determine the ideal algorithm for picking courses at RPI. Keep Reading

We Are The Culture Of Fear

Fear us! Statler & Waldorf have officially been named the “culture of fear” at RPI by Dr. Jackson in her recent 2-hour review of our publication (masqueraded as a “Town Hall Meeting”). This comes as great news to all of us, as her review of our content touched on such popular subjects as our “Brown… Keep Reading

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The Waldorf Salad: March 28th, 2016

Hello dear readers! We’ve got an appetizer-sized salad for you this week, in preparation for our big Spring issue coming to you in April! The world is thawing, except for us! We’re still ice cold inside. But that’s just what journalism will do! Have a great post-Easter week, and trust us, there’s plenty more to… Keep Reading

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The Waldorf Salad: March 8, 2016

This salad is a little late, but you know what they say: better late than The Poly! Enjoy, or don’t. We Ranked All of RPI’s Current Presidents It’s a top 10 list! Who doesn’t love those? The Complete Moron’s Guide to Science Have you ever wanted to try science, but found it too extremist for… Keep Reading

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The Waldorf Salad: February 5th, 2016

Back from break, working off its layers of bacon and goat cheese, the salad is back and ready to bring you the best of RPI’s current events and global headlines: An Appeal For A Brighter, Warmer Future A thoughtful piece for those that have dared to question whether ozone is really that important or if… Keep Reading

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The Waldorf Salad: December 4th, 2015

Once again, in the final stretches of the semester, S&W brings you the best news from campus and the world beyond. Make sure you read through this one, we’ve prepared something special at the end…   Zake Kav’eb’s Tips For Surviving The Semester Our resident RPG character gives S&W some exclusive tips on finishing out… Keep Reading

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The Waldorf Salad: November 13th, 2015

Fresh from the presses, delivered *despite* the fact that we’ve all had James Bond films to watch and Call of Duty/Fallout games to play, here’s this fortnight’s Waldorf Salad!   Cerebral Pantsings 5: All Aboard Coke Mountain Let It Go? That’s right, let it all go right down the drain because you just snorted a… Keep Reading

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The Waldorf Salad: October 31st, 2015

Another extra spooky Waldorf Salad, on the house! How spooky, you ask? It’s chock-full of the inane news about this school’s administration and the inevitability of corporate greed to turn our Alma mater into a sad shell of itself. HAHA, just kidding! It’s mostly bad puns and cringe-worthy family stories. Stay spooked!   Why Our… Keep Reading

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The Waldorf Salad: Oct 16th, 2015

Back again with more literary goodness and cutting-edge news, here’s the best of S&W:   Talk Whirly To Me: A Fan Fanfic This summer’s hottest fanfic that’s so hot…yet so breezy at the same time. We ship you with a wide variety of fans, which one will you notice? ;)   Cerebral Pantsings 3: Stay… Keep Reading

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The Waldorf Salad: Oct 9th, 2015

Here comes another bi-weekly blast of S&W’s finest articles, news, opinions, and brainwashing campaigns straight to you, our beloved readers! Our top stories:   Earth – An Honest Review Sure, it sustains life as we know it and we have no other home, but how great is it really? People tried for years to escape… Keep Reading

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The Best Classes at RPI

By Mike Dame, Chris Dower, Istvan Moritz, Kristan Tate, Tristan Villamil This was an article written at Statler & Waldorf’s NRB event this year at RPI, where incoming freshmen were given the opportunity to walk into the office and, over the course of 2 hours, brainstormed, outlined, and wrote two full articles in groups. They… Keep Reading

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S&W Applies for the Union E-Board

Recently, applications for the Union Executive board (the main governing body of the Union) were being accepted. In an effort to stage a coup, we at S&W have decided to all apply for positions on the E-board. Below are the actual application questions, and our actual application answers.                  … Keep Reading

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Players Review: EOP

In this year’s Evening of Performance the Players have really outdone themselves with three show stopping comedies that will leave you with a smile on your face, with Sheer Idiocy planning to end each night brilliantly. The three performances of the night The Whole Shebang, Promaggedon, and A Dollar really brought down the house. The… Keep Reading

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