Identifying The Tute Screw

in Humor

What kind of screw is the ‘Tute Screw?? For those new to campus, the ‘Tute Screw is the Institute’s uncanny ability to inconvenience, disenfranchise, or otherwise displease the student body. Library closes just before you get there? ‘Tute Screw. Rathskeller is all out of chicken tendies? ‘Tute Screw. Shirley claims the Union in the name of our Lord, the Board? ‘TUTE SCREW.
But what kind of screw? The choices are endless. S&W’s top picks include:

  • The eye screw, for their magnificent loops that remind us of the goggles needed to properly operate the Weather Machine
  • The U-screw, for the way it reminds us of the Arch program and because it puts the U in Save the Union
  • Mating screws, because irony
  • The J-screw, in honor of The Honorable
  • The self-drilling MMS, because it screws hard with a purpose

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.