Archie Mating Habits Finally Observed

in Uncategorized/Humor

By Noah Tebben, Contributor

In what has been a decade-long quest to figure out how exactly stressed, time-scrapped architecture students at RPI somehow manage to reproduce and cultivate the overgrown hive mind that is the Greene building, there has finally been a break in the research. One S&W reporter stumbled upon a large bubble nest on the VCC lawn last spring and has finally summoned the courage to tell the story.

“It was so unexpected. It didn’t look like much, given the plastic construction and lack of gothic features, but the structural integrity was impeccable. You couldn’t get in from any angle. They must have built it around themselves, and the only majors capable of surrounding themselves in that much work AND engaging in sexual reproduction are the archies.”

Our reporter refused to say much more, but he mumbled about the number of pizza boxes strewn out around the nest. Much like other nesting creatures, it appears the archies gorge themselves on high-calorie feed before mating in what must be a demanding and arduous ritual. It is not yet clear how the RPI ecosystem will react to the continuous influx of architecture students, but the ivy clinging to the Greene building has started to branch out towards the surrounding wildlife. For more information on invasive species on campus, look no further than Statler & Waldorf.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.