US News and World Report Names The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (True Korea) the Number One Nation in the World!

in Humor

By Parth Bhide

Just recently, US News and World Report published their ranking of the world’s countries. This is the DPRK’s state media report of the listing.

US News and World Report Names The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (True Korea) the Number One Nation in the World!

Kim Jong Un, the dear leader, and all the Korean people are proud of the bravery demonstrated by the journalists at the US News and World Report for escaping from the shackles of American imperialism and “democracy” to present the facts as they are. In their second annual ranking, the group has rightfully placed True Korea atop all other nations. In their description of our glorious nation, US News and World report wrote:

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea demonstrates the finest in quality of life, happiness of the citizen, industry, military, government approval, and global dominance. The fearless head of state and government, Kim Jong Un, is the epitome of an effective, caring, and progressive president. The opportunities for success in the DPRK are unparalleled throughout the world. In the fields of science and innovation, the number of Korean patents that have shaped the course of global events easily secures Korea as the heartbeat of modern innovation. In its military prowess, Korea’s massive armed forces combined with functional and numerous ICBM’ s that can totally destroy the United States should prevent action by all of its foes.In the field of quality of life, the plentiful markets always overflowing with fresh produce, along with the pristine cities with piercing skyscrapers offer citizens all they could want, and more. This paradise created by the Kim family has resulted in the highest (100%) government approval rating in the world. The citizens are truly blessed to live in such a glorious society.

These brave writers also placed the United States at the bottom of the list, where they belong. Hopefully, other outlets will follow suit and denounce the United States in an equally acerbic manner. The US News and World Report wrote:

The United States had consistently demonstrated an inability to meet the needs of their own citizens and the demands of globalization. The chaos of the political and economic environments breed instability and violence that has become a part of American culture. The “stability” of democracy has led to racial and class tensions that threaten people’s way of life. In the fields of science and innovation, American education has stalled and produced sub-par innovation focused only on garnering profits for the elite few. The outsourcing of jobs is evidence of this decline. In military prowess, the failed warmongering of the United States in Europe and the Middle East have created violent groups and ruinous states that destroy the lives of innocent people. In the quality of life, the breakdown of social order and political chaos has threatened the day-to-day security of citizens. Rampant poverty and a crumbling infrastructure has halted the pace of society. Finally, divisions over an ever-changing government have diminished the respect for the government.

Other prominent countries ranked include The People’s Republic of China (2nd), The Russian Federation (3rd), the Republic of Iran (4th), The Republic of China (3rd to last) and The Republic of Korea – False Korea (2nd to last).

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