End Hate Speech at RPI

in Humor

by Chester Kowalski


Three words can change so much. That’s all it takes. Three. Words.

11:15 a.m. I was a little slow today. Normally I finish Physics Lab in an hour and leave by eleven, but today I dawdled and took an extra 15 minutes. I’ll have to watch myself, I don’t want to become complacent like those plebs who take the section time to finish. What if I had to leave with the rest of the class!? I couldn’t bear the thought.

I placed my report neatly in the tray, setting the standard as I do in some many things, and proceeded to the TA to receive my graded exam. I knew I had gotten a perfect score and this was just a formality, but certain customs are to be observed in such an esteemed place of eminent academic study as this. I walked up, hand outstretched, waiting to see her swoon and sing the praises that all women sing to me when they realize my academic prowess. It was then that I heard it…

“What’s Up, NERD.”

Blindsided. Lost. A Complete Experimental Anomaly. I quickly readjusted my bow tie to keep up appearances, and I rushed out the door. I sped-walked back to my room. Not even the solace of my assured achievement and general intelligence could keep me from holding back the tears. I wondered if the other students knew. Do they know the kind of monstrosities that walk among them? Can they comprehend the level of hate perpetrated on this campus toward this eternally oppressed minority group to which I belong (not only as an individual of high academic standing, but as a member of the chess club, robotics club, and LARPing club)? There are no two ways about it: the nerdiphobia is REAL. I can only assume that students here are willfully ignorant of my plight, brainwashed by the Jockiarchy. Either that or they are like some of my fellow nerds who have, in a tragic irony, internalized nerdiphobia.  But if people knew about such war crimes as the one I just experienced, could they truly allow them to continue? I must believe the answer to be “No.”

And that’s why I am here today. Together we must learn to stop atrocities like these. If you see something, say something. Nerds rule the world, but they need to make it out of school first. End Nerdiphobia.

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