FuckFit: The new fitness craze that’s arousing the nation

in Humor

 

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Would you love a revolutionary new way to spice up your love life and get fit doing it? FuckFit is for you! Our patent-pending exercise routine is going to give you muscles where sexy people have them. 3 out of 7 scientists agree sex is a primary factor in maintaining a healthy relationship and blissful sex-dazed happiness.

One 15 minute Sexercise routine will be sure to shred fat and help you connect with your workout partner. Is your marriage in shambles because you don’t find your partner, or even yourself, attractive anymore? Force yourself to get together for a quickie cardio intensive workout that will leave you with a refreshed love for your mate and a renewed desire for a sexier body.

We’re so committed to helping you achieve your FuckFit dreams that we’re hosting special group lessons at our world renowned Sexnasium. Take your gains (and your sexual endurance) to the next level at the FuckFit Jerking Grounds, where you’ll train with the world’s leading FuckFitness Instructors that’ll give you the hands-on lessons you need to achieve your goals.

Weightlifters will hate your gains! Simply find the nearest person of sexual interest that consents to the FuckFit license and liability agreement, and you’ve got almost everything you need! Listen to testimonials from some real FuckFit users and enthusiasts.

Just ask Shay and KEG, two loyal FuckFit users for over 9 months: “We used FuckFit when no other workout regimens were working. It totally unleashed the inner beast mode and helped me cut harder and work muscles I didn’t even know I had.”

FuckFit reaches persons worldwide! Vivacious user and farmer Dylan Jones says, “FuckFit turned my workouts primal. I experienced new horizons man has never seen before through this program. I connected with my inner animalistic potential. My herd and I have never been closer due to the synergistic nature of FuckFit.”

Call now and we’ll recommend you for our special workout supplements! These crystals will be sure to unlock your true endurance and help you to achieve peak performance. Ask Jesse, a FuckFit Blue Workout Enhancer user on and off for about 6 years now. He says, “Where can I get that shit, man? FuckFit has the best rocks on the street, man! Me and my bitch hit that and just go at it for weeks, dude!”

Aaron, another intravenous FuckFit Workout Enhancer user, applies FuckFit techniques to enhance his personal workout sessions, pushing the limits of the human body and spirit.

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This offer won’t last forever, as we’re probably going to run out of funding soon! Buy now and you’ll get double the offer! As a special bonus, we’ll provide FuckFit for Kids free of charge!

Note: FuckFit is not liable for any or all of the following: STIs, Shortness of Breath, Difficulty swallowing, unwanted pregnancy, bruised buttholes, awkward mornings, and good ol’ cum in the hair.