GM Week Events To Skip

in Humor

With GM week in full swing, we wanted to give you our thoughts on which events will blow your mind and which will just… blow. GM Week has devolved from a week of celebration into a bunch of people tabling their club or charity as uninterested students shuffle to class, so skip the bullshit and get straight to the good shit with these events.

GM Week Events You Can’t Miss:

  • Free shit
  • Administration effigy bonfire
  • GM Week Dixie cups with free root beer
  • Pub Safe kidnaps your friends, posters for ransom
  • Shirley’s backyard BBQ
  • Annual Satanist club goat sacrifice
  • Gene Simmons
  • Weather Machine tour
  • Battle of the Majors, hardcore no-holds-barred cage matches
  • Whatever S&W is doing
  • Some dude is like juggling flaming chainsaws or something, man, it’s sick!
  • Late night baked fat sandwich delivery
  • Shirley & The Pussycats perform LIVE!

GM Week Events To Skip:

  • Free shit 2: The Poopening
  • Neckbeard beauty pageant
  • Voting in Student Elections
  • Save The Union hunger strike
  • Whatever the Poly is doing
  • Annual march of the shut-ins
  • Three Minutes Hate
  • Postergator’s feeding time
  • The one over in that corner hosted by that guy who smells weird
  • T-shirt-eating contest
  • McNeil room pig wrestling
  • All of them