By Noah Tebben
In a hallmark display of cutting-edge learning here at RPI, the department of Humanities and Social Sciences has introduced a new course tailored to help lovable nerds express themselves over the popular dating app Tinder. The class, WRIT 2069 for those interested, is currently only offered in the spring, but department head Ivana Meedendoink tells us this is the most requested HASS class in the university’s history:
“We’re seeing students really look forward to honing their dating skills online. I mean, who can blame them? Of all the challenges our students face here, from industry-relevant engineering challenges to major projects with real-world clients, nothing tops the daunting task of talking to other students and forming some semblance of a relationship. Through the artistic medium of Tinder, we’re ready to equip RPI students with the very best pic-for-pic talent that we can offer.”
A number of students have already attended small Tinder workshops provided by the HASS department in preparation for their upcoming course. We’ve picked out some of the key feedback:
“I really learned how to show, not tell! For example, instead of just saying I’m practically fluent in French, instead I can just put ‘Je aime bien la formage’ and let that do the talking!”
“I realized that all of my bios made me into a flat character, and that’s a bad thing. I don’t wanna be flat! So now I make sure that my chest looks huge in all of my bio pictures and now I’m much more rounded!”
“So my instructor told me that I need more voice, but there’s no recording option on Tinder. I’m working on a Tinder add-on that plays a recording of my singing when people look at my profile, and I put WAY more words on my bio. Now I’ve got lots of voice and I’ll have lots of matches in no time.”
S&W reached out to the Creative Writing faculty to try and get an early peek at some of their course materials, but they have not responded, subversively showing us that they are individuals that have presence without even speaking, obliterating our prior conceptions that they are mere purveyors of knowledge, and showing us that they are true human beings, beautiful in all hues of light.
Oh, and rumors state that the class may be abruptly cancelled due to allegations that Grinder was rudely barred from the syllabus. We’ll keep you posted!