Why I Love EMPAC

in Humor

by Mr. Anderson

It’s a wonderful morning, and, like just about every day, I walk over to EMPAC.  It’s this beautiful, gigantic building that showcases the wonders of Rensselaer College of Conservative and Liberal Arts.  Some of my friends from other colleges don’t understand—why would you want to walk so far every day just to go to a big egg-shaped building?

I laugh.  Then I explain.

You see, there are so many events happening in EMPAC each day that it would be ridiculous and boring to stay home and study.  Last Thursday, I walked in, and there were a hundred students in line to buy tickets to see the Taylor Swift concert this weekend.  I went downstairs to the new art exhibit—so helpful to my liberal arts education!  The schedule is always pasted on the wall, and I have to force myself to choose between several lectures, buy some food from a student organization raising money for charity, admire some research posters on hippies and drugs, and force myself to read those two pages for my Weave Physics class that night.  That was a pretty average day.

Weekend nights are when EMPAC really comes alive.  Movies are shown on the gigantic screens, crisp and full of color.  Quite an experience!  Many couples frequent the movies, though—it certainly does suck to be a single female with so many girls around.  Makes me a bit upset to go to the movies.  The Taylor Swift concert was great, though.

The worst part is that I have to leave EMPAC to go to class.  I also have to leave it to sleep, since there are no beds.  Showering is kind of a problem, too.  When you go to a fancy liberal arts school like we do, you have to make sure you don’t smell too bad!

 Okay.  Maybe I’m exaggerating a tad.  Still, EMPAC is PHENOMENAL.  It’s where everything happens.  Lectures.  Exhibits.  Concerts. Presentations—did I mention that I got to present my research on Advanced Dog Psychology last week?  The audience seemed excited by my analysis of dog facial movements and the relationship to the owner.

I wonder what will be in EMPAC today?

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