In Defense of Depravityby Patrick “Smee” Buford
The Ratio sucks.
Yes, this has been said many times in many ways for many reasons, and there’s nothing that will solve that problem short of protesting the Ratio in the middle of Accepted Students Day. Or short of that, walking six blocks to Russell Sage College.
I feel that much of the crossfire from this topic comes as a result of failing to recognize the root causes, to understand “why” and to accept it. I will try my best to explain this topic to the best of my masculine understanding with both clarity and brevity.
- In the immortal words of Jake and Elwood Blues, “Everybody needs somebody.” Whether this means love, sex, hugs, girl talk, guy talk, or just the atmosphere of ranging balances of estrogen and testosterone, guys need girls need girls need guys need guys. In this case, the Ratio screws everyone over.
The problem with this is that this social and emotional need is as important as anything else in the hierarchy of needs. It’s important enough to kill you, but slow enough to not see it coming. It’s literally a matter of survival, even just to try. I’m not asking women to spread their legs for the greater good, but it’s not fair to get upset at men that are just trying to live humanely. Counterpoint: RSC is in walking distance, dumbasses.
- Guys are blunt and women lie. NOTE: this paragraph is NOT politically correct, because I stopped giving a shit when the first draft exceeded three pages in defensive explanation. Guys default to sticking to the facts and girls default to posterity. And by “posterity” I mean “not actually saying ‘No’” when most guys can’t take a hint. I think Nancy Reagan had something to say about that. Final words: having a backbone doesn’t make you a feminist, it makes you respectable.
Men don’t come to RPI for the Ratio. Neither do the women. These are two completely different statements, especially since the latter is not always true or obvious. Men that complain about the Ratio came because they didn’t consider how much not having girls around would suck. Women come for a career. The few women that are here for the Ratio tend to be less than respectable for any male without the libido of a blind rhino. You know, the kind that are willing to hump cars.
So, the result is men approaching women that aren’t interested. This happens over three times as often as it should have, by rudimentary statistic analysis. Deal with it, with spray bottles and rolled up newspapers if you must. Maybe The Poly will actually prove useful.
Moral of the story: we’re all adults here, start acting like it. Respect women. Be honest, even if it hurts. And if all else fails, there’s a women’s college within walking distance. Seriously, guys, Troy isn’t that bad, and even if it is, it’s totally worth getting mugged in the pursuit of sexiness. Peace and love.