How to Piss Off a Feminazi in 45 Daysby Patrick “Smee” Buford
I’m a guy at RPI. So are many of the girls. I don’t mean that in a “tranny” way, although sometimes that is the right meaning. I just mean that I still have that far-off memory of how girls act in real life, and it just doesn’t match what I see now. Going off-campus gives me a subtle version of the feeling I imagine accompanies getting out of prison. “Hey, there are women,” I think to myself, “Maybe tonight won’t end with a tired right hand or a sore butt.”
Despite the widespread knowledge that the dreaded Ratio royally screws over RPI students and perverts the nature of the universe, some uppity know-it-all feminazi(s) think this means they get to treat men like trash, just because we do our best not to cave in from the crushing despair of loneliness. It doesn’t matter that they’re logic is flawed or hypocritical; we are dirt and there is nothing we can do about it.
A rebuttal, if you will:
Signs that a geeky girl is available
- She plays too much WoW to be socially healthy. Get her to go outside. On a date.
- She goes to a different college with an opposite Ratio and only sees guys when she comes to county-wide events, like weekend-long LARPs.
- Guys mistake her for being strictly lesbian just because she sports a small rainbow pin and supports LGBT. Straight and bisexual girls aren’t allowed to support homosexuality, right?
- She hasn’t slept much in the past week because nobody is really looking out for her mental health. Just ignore the M*A*S*H theme song playing from her room.
- She has a well-rehearsed friendship speech. Because friendship is awesome. Just not the “boy-“ or “girl-“ kinds. Or yours.
- She’s not used to dating guys, so she’s nervous, confused, or oblivious when you attempt to flirt with her.
- She broke up with someone else less than a week ago.
- She’s already dating another guy. Oh wait, you didn’t know that. Besides, he doesn’t treat her well and would rather be single. I smell misappropriation of wealth.
- She hangs out with you at D&D, so you already know you enjoy the same hobbies.
- She sort of has a girlfriend, but she keeps saying she’s sliding back on the Kinsey Scale.
So when you see a girl that you like in a setting where people’s conservative habits keep them from really connecting to people, the proper protocol is to leave her to sulk in degrading loneliness, just like you will continue to do for years before seeking the sweet release of death rather than taking a chance at actually finding love. Oh wait, that’s not correct.
P.S.: The rainbow button on the feminazi’s denim jacket is teaching you to blindly label her, just like she’s been yelling at you not to. Apparently “No” means “Yes.”